


Branches and Blossom

by Piratess_of_Tortuga



Series: From Kirkwall With Love [2]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fenris and magic? Oh no..., Haven, Sequel, Tags to be added, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 08:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piratess_of_Tortuga/pseuds/Piratess_of_Tortuga
Summary: When Varric vanishes, Nyra and Fenris set out to find and rescue their friend. The trail takes them across the Waking Sea and into Ferelden. There, something unexpected happens: Nyra awakes in a small cottage somewhere in the mountains, but her vhenan is nowhere to be seen. Furthermore, she soon discovers something that could destroy their relationship for good...





	1. Waking into a nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a sequel to "The Porcupine". :) The love between Nyra and Fenris has remained unbroken since they met each other in Kirkwall a couple of years ago. But will it last, when magic comes between them once again? We shall see.

The room was filled with the scent of fresh Frost Mirriam **.** Sunlight began to creep in from the nearby window, causing Nyra to open her eyes slightly. She felt drowsy, and it took a while before she sat up with the support of her arms. She distantly realised how something soft gave in under her. A mattress, a bed… Had she fallen asleep? And where was...?

 

_*gasp*_

Nyra flinched and backed away from the edge of the bed. Her movement made the elf sitting on a stool next to the bed raise his head and smile.

”Ah, you’re awake”, he said, ”how are you feeling?”

After controlling her gaping mouth, Nyra was about to answer the question, but she was interrupted by a sudden, painful sting in her left hand. She clenched it into a fist and brought it close to her chest while biting her lower lip to try not to scream **.** The stranger immediately reached for her hand which started to glow green when he caught it between his own. He stared at it briefly and then the pain was gone. Nyra wasn’t sure whether there had been a silvery flash in his eyes or not, but she recognized magic when she saw... it...

_Magic?_

                      Nyra’s mouth went uncontrollably agape when realisation hit her: she had a magical mark on her hand. _Magical. Mark. On. Her. Hand._

_Creators, **no**..!. _ she panicked, searching the room with her gaze, _has he seen this? By Mythal, **has he seen this**?_

                      The elf beside the bed was about to reach for her and calm her down when the sound of a closing door drew his attention momentarily elsewhere.

”Cherry?” Varric walked into the room, obviously glad to see that she was awake, ”how about that, you’re already up!”

As soon as Nyra recognized his voice and was able to gain just enough focus to fix her gaze on him, a dormant instinct woke within her **.** She jumped out of the bed like a deer, nearly tumbling on the other elf on the way, and rushed to her friend.

”Varric!” she exclaimed and sank to her knees, hugging the dwarf with fright tightening her grip.

While Varric folded his arms around her, looking a bit confused, the unknown elf stood up from his stool.

”I’m not that frightening, am I?” he hummed, sounding undisturbed by Nyra’s reaction.

”Oh”, she glanced at him, stuttering, ”I’m sorry, I – I...

”Oh, don’t worry about Chuckles”, Varric comforted her, ”he’s not going to eat you. He’s not that kind of mage.”

”I – I didn’t mean...”

”It’s alright”, the elven mage soothed her as well, ”I understand that this must have been a surprise to you, a shock even.”

                      Nyra stared at the older elf for a while before she managed a nervous smile and nodded several times. Then she slowly lowered her gaze to examine her left hand.

_Magical mark,_ she thought yet again, holding back her tears, _on **my** hand..._

”Where is he?” she asked to herself, her voice a mere whisper.

Hearing her words, Varric immediately realised who she meant.

”He wasn’t with you?” he inquired.

”I saw him last when we split up in”, Nyra searched her mind for the right memories, ”I came here and he went – what was the place...”

When she tried to remember so hard yet nothing came to her mind, the tears broke through, and she began to weep against Varric’s shoulder.

”Aww, don’t cry sweetheart”, he consoled her, ”I’m sure that Fenris is okay.”

_My dear friend, how could you know that? I don’t even remember where I last saw him before we – before I..._

Overwhelmed by questions and doubt, Nyra clung to Varric as if he was her lifeline. The dwarf hugged her tightly.

”There, there”, he hushed her, ”everything will be alright.”

Seeing that Nyra was in need of solace rather than healing, the mage took a step towards the cottage’s door.

”I trust you’ll take care of her, Varric”, he said, ”come find me if there are any critical changes in her condition. I’ll go tell Cassandra she’s awake.”

”Of course”, the dwarf nodded, ”just make sure that the Seeker won’t storm in here in her usual style, okay?”

”Don’t worry. I’ll tell her to wait.”

 

After the elven mage had left, the sobs inside the cottage eventually turned from hysterical into silent ones. Despair was never the right answer to anything **,** and Nyra knew that better than most. With that as her guideline, she let go of Varric and reached for a handkerchief she kept in the right pocket of her breeches **.** She hiccupped due to all the excess air she had swallowed and held her breath briefly to prevent it from continuing. Then she sighed, relaxed her shoulders, and turned to look at her friend. Her eyes were red and dry from the tears she had just shed, but there was such determination in them that it could have moved mountains.

”I don’t remember what happened, but I know Fenris can’t be far”, she said resolutely.

Varric gave her a small smile and pressed his hand on her left shoulder.

”We’ll find him, Cherry, I promise”, he told her, ”but there’s something you should know about first...”


	2. Keeping council

One could never suspect how suddenly things might turn upside down. Nyra, for one, felt that she had just been given a full dose of unexpected event **.** Apparently, there had been a massive explosion which had resulted in the sky being torn open and _she_ was the sole survivor found on its site **.** She would likely have been put in chains by now if not for the two people who had recognized her **.** Varric had pointed out that his testimony might not have had enough value alone. Luckily, Kirkwall’s former knight-captain was the commander of the forces which had installed themselves in the village of Haven, and he had vouched for her too **.** Nyra remembered him quite well because he had visited the Hanged Man when he had been in search of runaway mages. Perhaps she should thank him if she happened to see him. It was far more pleasant to wake up in a bed than on a cold dungeon floor full of moist and stinking hays after all.

 

***

 

Haven was like any other village in Ferelden with its wooden houses and palisade. Nyra and Varric were led towards the local chantry by a woman named Cassandra. The Seeker had entered the cottage an hour after Solas left, asking Nyra to follow her. Varric, however, had immediately insisted that it was important for his friend to have someone familiar with her, and the warrior hadn’t wanted to waste time arguing **.** Since leaving the cottage, whispers had surrounded them like a dense fog, and the townsfolk had given Nyra reprehending glances. The atmosphere made her feel uneasy. The people of Haven thought that she had killed someone entitled as the Divine and then blown up a whole temple. What a wonderful situation to start with **,** was it not?

***

 

The building was quiet save for the quarrel emanating from the room at the end of its hall. The racket stopped only when Cassandra opened the door and stepped in with Nyra and Varric following her **.** One of those present, a man of the Chantry by his looks, pointed the elf accusingly with his finger.

”What is she still doing here?” he groused, ”she should be chained and on her way to Val Royeaux to be judged by whoever becomes the Divine!”

”I suggest you cut that out, chancellor”, a much more familiar voice confronted his, ”she is above any suspicion.”

Nyra glanced at the man she had last seen in Kirkwall when he was still a templar.

”I appreciate that”, she nodded with gratitude, ”thank you.”

Cullen gave her a small smile and returned her nod.

”You’re welcome.”

”You’re lucky to have someone vouch for you with such sincerity”, a redhaired woman wearing a lilac hood stated, ”had you been someone else, miss Lavellan, I doubt you'd be here with us right now.”

                      Nyra cocked her head in question. The way the woman spoke sounded odd, as if they already knew each other.

”Have we met?” she frowned.

”No, we haven’t”, the woman replied, her voice sonorous and strict.

Before Nyra could say anything, Varric stepped forward and glanced up at her.

”Cherry, this is Leliana”, he introduced them, ”Hawke and I met her at Viscount’s Keep back in Kirkwall.”

”She’s the Left Hand of the Divine”, Cassandra added, ”and our spymaster.” _._

”Yes”, Leliana sighed, holding her arms behind her back, ”tactfully put, Cassandra.”

 _Well, that explains it, I guess,_ Nyra pondered before Varric spoke out again.

“And of course there’s Ruffles”, the dwarf directed her attention to a dark-haired woman standing next to Cullen **,** ”the one with the silver tongue.”

”Josephine Montilyet”, the woman bowed courteously, ”a diplomat and ambassador to our cause. A pleasure to meet you.”

                      With all the quick introductions and greetings made, one of those present remained unintroduced: the one who Cullen had addressed as "the chancellor”. The man didn’t seem any happier than he had done when Nyra and others had entered the room.

”Stop this nonsense”, he demanded, ”you can’t just blindly accept and trust someone who fell out of one of those hellholes. She must be interrogated!”

_What a charming man._

”You’d better watch your tongue, my dear chancellor”, Leliana warned him, ”someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others – or have allies who yet live.”

”What? _I_ am a suspect?”

”You, and many others.”

”But _not_ her”, the man nodded towards Nyra, seemingly outraged, ”fine. If that’s how it’s going to be, I want no part in this.”

                      The chancellor turned at his heel and marched out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

”Asshole”, Varric muttered indignantly while Nyra turned to stare the opposite wall with her eyes wide, wordless.

She seemed lost in all that was happening around her, or to be put more accurately, _because_ of her.

”Don’t mind him”, Cassandra told Nyra, ”the whole Andrastian world is in turmoil after the Divine’s unexpected fate, and Roderick is more than eager to judge anyone who was even near the temple at the time of the explosion.”

The elf took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

”Well”, she gave a nervous laugh, ”it seems that he has already decided that I’m guilty.”

”Luckily, he’s not the one to decide that on our behalf”, Leliana reminded her, ”speaking of the explosion, do you remember what happened? Anything that could be useful?”

Nyra shook her head sadly.

”I’m sorry, but I don’t remember what happened, not even...”

                      With her words trailing off, Nyra squeezed her eyes shut. She was still full of regret, but also frustration. She would have wanted to run out of the chantry to begin to search for Fenris, but she would have to hear Cassandra and others out first - she had promised that to Varric. With that in her mind **,** Nyra bowed her head and gritted her teeth together.

”Ir abelas, vhenan”, she whispered with pain straining her words. 

Others saw how she suffered, but only one of them understood the reason for it. Varric placed his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. There was no need for words for Nyra knew what her friend meant, and she gave him a small tired smile as a thank you.

Mythal help her, she hoped Varric was right: her heart was somewhere out there, alive and searching for a way to return to her.

_He had to be._


	3. Enough demons to fill a valley

****

The council’s decision was what Varric had suspected it to be: there was a breach in the sky that needed to be mended, and Nyra should be the one to try and seal it with the mark she now carried. As soon as the troops were ready to march, Cullen began to lead them towards the Temple of Sacred Ashes while Leliana scouted ahead with her agents. Nyra was accompanied to the site in their wake by Cassandra, Varric, and Solas. She had been provided with a better leather armor and new weapons to replace those which had been either lost or broken beyond repair during the events of the Conclave. Nyra had seen demons before, but when the small group encountered the first ones in the valley **,** she was happy that she didn’t need to face them alone. She felt broken in her vhenan’s absence, but the presence of Varric and others gave her strength to aim to fill their goal, the success of which now seemed to rest on her shoulders: Thedas needed to be saved.

 

The group made way across a frozen lake and ascended the stairs to a nearby hill. When they reach the top, they found a couple of soldiers holding the line against demons that seemed to be spilling out of a green tear above them.

”We need to seal that rift”, Solas shouted as he readied his staff for combat, ”quickly!”

Cassandra rushed to help the soldiers while Nyra and Varric moved to better shooting positions. Solas cast barriers to protect the close-range combatants while the two archers let arrows fall on their foes like rain. When the last struggling shade dispersed and there were no others to imminently follow it, Solas threw his staff aside and dashed to grab Nyra’s left hand.

”Come, there’s no time!”

                      The younger elf didn’t have any time to wonder what the mage had meant nor what he was doing when he led her towards the rift. The crackling portal had dissipated into swirling energy, and its glow reflected from the two silvery eyes as Nyra stared up at it. As Solas guided her left hand up high, a ray of green light erupted from the mark, surging towards the rift and causing it to blast. While the last spark still rattled on the ground like a dying insect, Solas let go of Nyra’s hand.

”The rift is sealed”, he marvelled, ”it seems my theories were correct.”

”Meaning the mark could also close the Breach itself”, Cassandra pondered, staring at the spot where the rift had been just a moment ago **.**

”Indeed”, Solas confirmed, turning to smile at Nyra, ”it seems you hold the key to our salvation, da'len.”

Despite the cold mountain wind, a slight blush rose to her cheek.

”I didn’t even know what I did”, she objected, ”it was you who closed the rift.”

”Don’t be so modest, Cherry”, Varric praised her, ”that was amazing!”

Nyra gave her friend a smile though she still felt a bit confused about what had just happened.

”Well, it seems that this works, at least”, she pondered as she stared at the mark, ”I guess I could learn more about it.”

                      While Nyra tried to come in terms with the first positive thought she had gotten about the mark so far, Cassandra turned to speak with the soldiers whom they had helped to fight off the shades.

”Do you know where the commander and Sister Leliana are?” she asked.

”They were already ahead of us when we got here”, one of the soldiers reported, ”that thing was not in the sky back then **.** It appeared out of nowhere right before our noses.”

The Seeker looked sombre.

”We must go and help them, they will not manage any rifts on their own”, she stated firmly, ”hold the line here, corporal, do not let any demons past you.”

”You can count on us.”

Cassandra gave the soldiers a thankful nod before glancing at Nyra and others.

”There’s no time to waste. Let’s go.”

 

The group headed ever deeper into the valley but found nothing aside burning buildings and demons. When they reached a bridge protected by gates, they sighted yet another rift from which demons began to fall in the presence of the mark. With her confidence bolstered by the closing of the first rift, Nyra furrowed in concentration and reached towards the one in front of her with her left hand. Solas cast a barrier around her, and with Cassandra keeping the demons at bay, she focused on remembering how the mark had worked last time. How the energy had tingled upon her fingertips and her palm had begun to feel warm as if there was a beating heart inside it. A shade nearly got her when she closed her eyes in concentration, but she had Varric at her side, and the dark creature stood no match for Bianca.

”Use the mark”, Solas encouraged her, ”let its energy flow freely!”

_Freely..._

                      Nyra grimaced as she opened her eyes to stare at the rift and released a green ray of light off her hand. The rift began to swirl like a wild storm until it vanished completely. With its remnants bobbling by her feet, she finally let herself breath again. She turned to look at Varric who lowered his crossbow and patted her back genially.

”Well done, Cherry”, he praised her, ”not even a trace is left of that thing!”

”Indeed”, Solas concurred with a smile, ”you’re becoming quite proficient at this.”

”I guess so”, Nyra sighed in relief and turned to look at the elven mage, ”your advice was very helpful.”

”I imagine that it must be strange to use the mark when you're not a mage, so I’ll help you the best I can.”

A small, thankful smile lifted the right corner of Nyra’s mouth **.**

”Ma serannas.”

 

***

 

The view over ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes opened before the group of four like a desolate nightmare. It was a dreary comparison to the mountain path they had delved through to get there. Nyra walked among the petrified corpses and looked at each of them. Those distorted faces, the obvious pain in them... It made her heart clench. How had she survived and evaded the fate that all those people had suffered?

                      When Nyra stopped by one the victims to take a closer look at the stony face, Cassandra walked to her.

”This is where our soldiers found you”, the Seeker told her.

”Yes, I know”, she nodded, ”Varric told me.”

**”** Does being here help you remember anything?”

”No”, Nyra shook her head sadly, ”I wish it did. Perhaps it would help us solve this mess.”

”You may be right”, Solas cut in when he heard her self-doubt, ”but what matters is that _you_ made it out alive **.** You give the world hope **.”**

”Chuckles is right, you know”, Varric decided to encourage his friend too, ”we’d be ass-deep in demons forever if you hadn’t survived this.”

                      Nyra felt overwhelmed by all the support she got from those around her. Varric had always been like that, and he was undoubtedly one of the best friends she had ever had, but to notice that Solas and Cassandra stood by her as well... It was unexpected as well as a little bit unnerving. The two silvery eyes got fixed on the face of the statue-like corpse in front of her. So much depended on her, but with the help of the mark **,** she could prevent anything like this happening ever again. She just couldn’t help herself from wondering whether the cost would be too great for her to bear.


	4. That's the Herald of Andraste

The rift at the Temple of Sacred Ashes was sealed. The pride demon that had come through it had tried its best to prevent that from happening, of course, laughing deviously at the unsuccessful attacks of its opponents **.** The battle had seemed hopeless at first, but after noticing that altering the rift's movement weakened the demon considerably, the soldiers had managed to bring it down. The sky remained scarred but calm, and the people of Haven wouldn’t rest until it was healed again.

Thedas was safe for now, all thanks to the efforts of the reborn Inquisition and the mark on the hand of a non-mage elf **.**

***

 

A faint echo travelled through the chantry’s hall when the old door at its end was opened slightly. Nyra hesitated for a moment before entering the war room. Her life had been turned upside down by recent events **.** Only a week ago, she had watched the eerie reflection of the night sky from the surface of a lake with her vhenan. Now, she was partaking in meetings that would probably change the destiny of the whole world. Not even Varric was with her this time. The dwarf had waited for her to wake up in the same small cottage as yesterday. After that, however, he had instructed her to go to the chantry and wished her good luck. He had had something extremely important to do, and he had promised to tell her what it was as soon as he got it done. Until then, Nyra would be on her own, and her options seemed somewhat scarce right now.

_So, here we go…_

There were four people in the war room. Cassandra, Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine had gathered around a large map which was placed on a table. Though each of them glanced at the door upon hearing its long, sad creak, Cassandra was the first to react to Nyra’s arrival.

”It’s good that you’re here”, she welcomed her, ”please, come in.”

Feeling a bit uneasy, Nyra walked closer to the table.

”You wanted to see me?”

”Indeed I did”, the Seeker confirmed, ”if you’re feeling well enough to participate in the war council, we’d like you to join us.”

The elf frowned in question **.**

”Has it something to do what the people whispered in the village?” she asked, ”something about ’the Herald of Andraste’?”

”The people believe you were sent by the Maker to help us in our darkest hour”, Cullen explained, ”they also believe that the woman seen behind you when you stepped out of the rift was his bride, Andraste.” 

Nyra considered the explanation to be strange.

”But I believe in the Elven gods”, she protested, ”how can I be a herald to someone I don’t even believe in?”

”It’s enough that the people believe so”, Leliana calmed her, ”faith can be a powerful ally.”

                      Nyra felt that she was starting to get a headache. First, she had awakened with a magical mark on her hand **,** then she had been taught to mend tears in the Veil, and now she had been proclaimed some kind of champion of a human saint.

”So”, she dragged out the beginning of her sentence to get a little more time to think, ”what should I do as this ’Herald’?”

”Basically, it’s enough that you’re on our side”, Josephine elucidated the situation, ”it would be even better, however, if you participated in everything we do. The opinion of the people holds a power far mightier than any sword.”

_By Mythal…_

Nyra leant against the wooden table in a mild shock.

”You’re not asking me to lead, are you?” she asked gingerly.

”We’re asking you to help us”, Cassandra encouraged her, ”the Inquisition is too young to make it without you. The people need someone to believe in – as do we.”

                       While Nyra bit her lower lip and examined the map of Thedas with painfully slow precision, there was a knock on the room’s door.

”Come in”, Leliana said audibly while everyone turned their attention towards the door.

Well, everyone besides the elf who was ready to collapse under the responsibility that had unexpectedly been set upon her shoulders.

”Is your business important, Varric?” she heard the Seeker’s indignant question, ”our meeting isn’t concluded yet.”

”Actually, for one of you my current business here is of the utmost importance”, the dwarf replied, sparking Nyra’s hope.

”Is it about him?” she asked gingerly.

”None other.”

                      For the first time since waking up in Haven, there was a bright, genuine smile on Nyra’s scarred face.

”What...? How did you...?” she failed to grasp the right words, but Varric understood what she was trying to ask.

”I just pulled a few strings within my local contacts. An elf matching the description perfectly was sighted near Redcliffe at the time of the explosion.”

An immense wave of relief washed over Nyra, making her skin tingle and her cheeks burn. At the same time **,** Cullen walked past her to go and see what the sudden racket that had begun to emanate from outside was about.

”Who was at Redcliffe?” Cassandra demanded.

”Do you know where he went?” Nyra asked in turn, ignoring the Seeker’s question.

”My contacts saw him near the West Road, actually”, Varric told his friend, ”we could look for him there.”

                      The noises coming from outside became louder, and Cassandra also left the room to follow Cullen. What was the problem which the Inquisition’s commander couldn’t solve? Nyra didn’t pay much attention to what was happening around her for a refound joy filled her mind. She became discouraged as quickly, however, because she knew she couldn’t follow her own will this time, no matter how much her heart craved it. The Inquisition had other matters to attend to, and Nyra now seemed to have a bigger part in them than she would have wanted to have **.** Perhaps there was a small chance that they would visit Redcliffe **,** though?

 

_Gods, let it be so._

 

By the time the racket turned into an uproar, even Leliana and Josephine headed outside to find out what it was about. Varric stayed behind with Nyra who was still deep in her thoughts. Even she turned towards the door, though, when the slightest hint of a familiar voice reached her ears **.** With unspoken hope in her heart, Nyra advanced towards the door where the truth was waiting for her: there was no need to head to Redcliffe anymore.


	5. Andraste had a mabari, but her Herald has a wolf

A deep silence surrounded the elf who stood frozen in the chantry’s hall **.** She couldn’t believe her eyes, and her heart beat so hard that she felt like choking **.** Her lips moved, but no sound came out. When tension eventually released its hold on her body, she felt numb save for the intensifying burn on her cheeks. She barely noticed Varric who appeared at her side.

”Well”, he chuckled, ”what do you know...”

As if awakened from a trance, Nyra took a step forward, and before she even knew it herself, she was already running towards the door.

 

” _Fenris_!”

 

The people crowding the main door barely had time to make way for Nyra who rushed towards the white-haired elf standing outside **.** Cassandra and Cullen literally jumped out of the way when she ran past them and into her vhenan’s open arms. She unhesitatingly folded her arms behind his neck, and he had to take a step backwards to withstand the speed with which she had come towards him. After regaining his balance, he embraced her as tightly as she did him **,** hiding his face in her hair. Tears of overwhelming joy rose to Nyra’s eyes, and she gave a disbelieving laugh before hiding her face in the crook of her love’s neck **.**

Fenris was really there.

                      While the two elves held each other tightly, Cassandra began to disperse the crowd which had gathered around out of curiosity. When it was done, she headed back to the chantry with Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana. If Nyra had just opened her eyes slightly, she would have seen how each of them smiled as they passed them by. However, neither of the elves wanted to focus on anything else but each other **.** Nyra's silvery eyes glimmered when she finally lifted her head to look at her vhenan.

”I was so worried”, she breathed **,** ”I had no memory of where you went.”

Fenris smiled at her with deep affection and relief.

”I was at Redcliffe when I heard about the explosion”, he said, holding her more tightly, ”I thought I lost you.”

                      A faint, fragile tone in the warrior’s voice made Nyra realise how he must have felt. She had panicked when she had woken up without finding him, but now her reaction felt insignificant, absurd even **.** Nyra remembered the corpses she had seen among the temple ruins **.** She could have very well been one of them, but she was not. Whether saved by the Elven Gods or the one the Chantry called Andraste **,** she was alive, and Fenris was with her. That was everything she wanted, and she would refuse to let it go, no matter what.

 

_No matter what **.**_

A liberating feeling of bliss filled Nyra’s mind. All the recent horrific memories were cast aside along with all the uncertainty and emptiness she had felt just moments before. Unfortunately, there was also something she shouldn’t have forgotten. When Nyra slid her left hand along Fenris’ skin, his tattoos began to glow, and he winced from pain. Seeing his expression, Nyra instinctively glanced down and withdrew from her love when she saw how the mark’s energy crawled over his skin **.** She grabbed her left wrist and hid the mark by pressing her hand against her chest. She grimaced and bit her lip so hard that it nearly began to bleed.

_No._

                      As Fenris started to recover from the sudden shock, he raised his green gaze to meet Nyra’s. They were both shaken, horrified even. Nyra hadn’t expected the mark to do anything like this. Shouldn’t it react only to the rifts? But then again, it was magic, and Fenris’ tattoos were lyrium.

_Elgar’nan strike me down, I should have realised_...

The warrior stared at his love with his eyes wide **,** panting from the rush of adrenaline in his veins. Nyra bowed her head and squeezed her eyes briefly shut before lifting her apologizing gaze to meet his. She wanted to say something, to explain, but she couldn’t. She flinched when Fenris reached slowly for her hand. She knew that there was nothing she could do to hide the truth from him anymore. With hesitation still gnawing at her mind, she unclenched her hand, and the mark began to dance on her palm **.** Fenris frowned as he inspected it before glancing questioningly at Nyra who couldn’t bear to answer his gaze.

 

Everything was lost.

 

An ominous silence embraced the two elves with its chilling touch. Unaware of the turn of events, Varric arrived to greet the Inquisition’s unexpected guest with a roguish smile on his face.

”Broody!” he exclaimed cheerfully, ”it’s about time you showed up. Cherry was so worried about you...”

The dwarf’s words died out when he saw what was happening.

”Oh, shit”, he muttered and tried to mend the situation, ”Fenris, she got it by accident. We don’t know what happened, but we found her with it from the site of the explosion.”

The warrior grimaced, and his expression darkened with every word he heard. When he let go of Nyra’s wrist, he gazed at her sadly and turned to walk away with his head bowed.

”Fenris!” Varric called after him with an indignant tone in his voice though he understood why he had left the scene.

Realising that the warrior wasn’t coming back, the dwarf turned to Nyra who still held her left hand in the same position when Fenris had let go of it.

”Don’t worry, Cherry”, he tried to console his heartbroken friend, ”he just needs time to think it over. Just like he did in Kirkwall.”

”But this isn’t the same thing as it was back then”, Nyra stated, her voice shaking, ”back then magic was used on me, but this time it’s _in_ me. Varric, he’ll never forgive me!”

”’Forgive’? What is there to forgive?”

”That I let myself be tainted with this, this... _thing_. I shouldn’t even be able to use it because I’m not a mage!”

                      Curious eyes began to gather around due to the Herald’s hysterical raving **.** Nyra felt like she could just turn to dust and disappear. Varric looked at her with understanding.

”Hey, what if we go to ask Chuckles if he could do something to help?” he suggested, ”he understands the mark better than others, after all.”

”What?” Nyra blinked when clarity took over her thoughts momentarily **.**

”I said that maybe Chuckles...”

”’Chuckles’? Who’s... _Solas_! Where is he?”

”In his cottage probably”, Varric contemplated **,** ”it’s near the apothecary, but...”

 

As soon as Nyra knew where to go, she grasped the straw that Varric had offered her. She dashed off and didn't stop until she spotted the elven man whom she was looking for.

”Solas!” she called out while running towards him.

Though her sudden arrival caught the mage by surprise, he still managed to catch her before she hit the cottage's wall.

”Hahren, please, you have to help me!” the younger elf blurted out between gasps, ”take it away!”

Solas fought to remain standing to prevent them both from falling to the ground.

”Calm down, da'len”, he hushed the hysterical elf who had clenched her fists around his shirt’s collar, ”what's wrong?”

”He left”, Nyra sobbed, ”ma vhenan... The mark reacted to his tattoos and he left. Take it away so he can come back, please!”

                      There were no clear answers to be received from the Herald, but luckily, Varric followed his friend to the site a moment later. Solas turned to look at him in question.

”Can you tell me what has happened?” he requested.

”What? Oh, right”, the dwarf paused to catch his breath, ”it's a long story, but all you need to know is that Cherry's boyfriend came here, discovered her mark, and left.”

The mage frowned.

”He left because she had the mark?” he perceived the situation and grabbed Nyra's arms when he felt her sliding down his body.

”Yeah, that's pretty much what happened.”

                      Nyra was seemingly distraught, and she would have collapsed to the ground if not for Solas who kept her standing **.** Varric looked at his friend with a helpless gaze in his eyes.

”Can't you do something to help her?” he pleaded the mage.

”I don't know _how_ to help her”, Solas replied, ”I don't understand how her mark would affect her relationship.”

”Broody can be a bit difficult and impulsive sometimes”, Varric explained, ”and he has a problem with magic.”

”Why?”

”Because he was a slave in Tevinter”, Nyra's weak voice cut into the conversation.

Solas glanced at her in surprise, having thought that she had fallen unconscious due to stress.

”His master was a magister”, the younger elf continued in a whisper, ”the one who branded lyrium markings into his skin.”

”'Lyrium'?” the mage repeated in surprise, sounding sombre. 

Nyra managed to nod miserably before tiredness overwhelmed her and she had to rest her head against Solas' chest. The mage hesitated for a moment before he folded his arms comfortingly around her.

”She's burning up”, he noted, ”we should take her inside.”

”Cherry?” Varric tried to gain Nyra's attention, but she didn’t hear him anymore.

”Come, she needs our help”, the elf urged him, raising Nyra up to his arms, nodding towards the door of his cottage.

 

Although there was an apothecary right next to them, Varric realised that the mage who had saved Nyra’s life once already could help her more than any herb or potion. Thus, he went to open the door so that she could be carried inside. After the three vanished from sight, a small crowd gathered outside the cottage with whispers and murmur filling the air.

 

Was the Herald going to be alright?


	6. Despair isn't my name

A day passed before Nyra opened her eyes again. Her throat was sore, and she had a killer headache, but otherwise, she was physically fine. Deep inside, however, she felt hollow as if every last emotion within her had died **.** When she raised her head slightly off the pillow, she started coughing, alerting the two figures sitting in front of a modest fireplace.

”Cherry!” Varric exclaimed joyfully and hurried to her side.

”Varric”, Nyra paused to cough again. ”What – what did...”

”Don't try to speak, sweetheart”, the dwarf smiled in relief. ”You gave us a pretty good scare.”

Meanwhile, Solas rose to his feet too. Having heard the hoarseness of the younger elf's voice, he moved closer to her to press his left palm gently on her throat. Magic flowed over Nyra’s skin as a blue, glowing current **,** and her breathing began to sound considerably easier.

”Tell me”, she begged them both as soon as she felt her voice returning **.** ”Is he here?”

There was no need for either Varric or Solas to answer her question for the indecisive look they shared was all she needed to understand the truth. Nyra closed her eyes and grimaced from the pain she felt in her chest.

”How are you feeling?” Solas asked when he saw her expression. ”Does your throat still hurt?”

With sweat trickling down her forehead, the younger elf gave a hollow laugh **.**

”Do you know how to mend a broken heart?” she asked bitterly **.**

 The mage didn't answer.

”I thought so.”

                      When Varric saw how his friend sank deeper into melancholy, he sat on the edge of her bed and gave her a soft, encouraging smile. She refused to look at him.

”Cherry”, the rogue spoke calmly. ”He'll come to terms with it. He did return to you in Kirkwall, remember?”

_I remember, but this is different._

From the corner of her eye, Nyra saw how Solas kneeled beside her and reached for her wrist.

”There's no reason to lose your will to live **”,** he told her when he noticed how slow her pulse was. ”If your panelan cares for you as much as Varric has lead me to believe, he'll come back.”

”Chuckles is right”, the dwarf said **.** ”Besides, if we lose you, there's nothing to prevent this world from falling apart. We all need you, _Fenris_ needs you.”

Even if Nyra had been reluctant to believe any words of consolation so far, something she had heard made her react at last. Solas let go of her hand when he was sure that her heartbeat was steadily getting stronger.

”That's it, da'len”, he encouraged her. ”Fight.”

Varric made room for his friend who rose to sit beside him. She listened to the hum of the flames which danced inside their stony prison. Nyra squinted her eyes when a drop of resin made the fire crackle. Something was stirring amidst the emptiness inside her. Something strong and unyielding which she had nearly lost in her despair.

 

_Venuralasen, lasa ghilan._

The unexpected opening of the cottage's door alerted Varric and Solas who stood up and turned to see who the comer was.

”Has there been any improvement in the Herald's...?” Cassandra fell silent when she noticed Nyra who stared at the fireplace as if in prayer.

”She seems much better now”, Solas reported, glancing at the younger elf behind him. ”Her heart rate is steady, and the fever is gone.”

”But is she awake? She seems... absent.”

”She is”, Varric stated with a hint of worry in his voice. ”She's just... processing things.”

”Ah. I guess that's good.”

”Was there something you needed from us?” Solas inquired as the Seeker appeared a bit lost.

”Leliana sent me. If the Herald is well enough, we should travel to the Hinterlands and look for Mother Giselle.”

”'Travel'?” Varric repeated incredulously, ”she just woke up!”

”I know, Varric, but the Breach...”

”I don't care if that cursed thing has changed its shape or turned pink! All that matters right now is Cherry's health.”

                      The discussion between the rogue and the Seeker would have turned into an argument if not for the eerie creak of wood which drew their attention **.** Nyra stood at her full height with her silvery gaze burning with a new kind of élan.

”Cherry?”

”We shall go to the Hinterlands”, Nyra stated rigidly.

”But you just got out of the bed!” Varric protested, but she disregarded his opinion.

”Solas”, she addressed the mage. ”Am I well enough to travel?”

”Your health should be monitored”, he emphasized. “Otherwise than that, I see no reason to stop you.”

”Then I trust you'll come with me and do what's necessary.”

”Of course.”

”What about you, Varric?” Nyra glanced at her friend.

The dwarf seemed a bit baffled by her sudden determination.

”Do you even need to ask?” he finally managed. ”I would never forgive myself if I let you go without me – and neither would Broody.”

”Good.”

”So… What will I tell the council?” Cassandra’s confused voice cut in.

The determination in Nyra’s eyes would have been enough to answer her question **.**

”Tell them we'll leave immediately.”

 

***

 

No one was able to comprehend the sudden change they saw in the Herald, but they didn’t dare to question her. Varric knew the look she had in her eyes. It meant that she refused to change her mind about the matter, and the best thing he could do for her would be to go wherever she went. Thus he, Solas, and Cassandra prepared for the journey to the Hinterlands - and so did Nyra. She wore the hunter coat Harritt had made for her, and she was armed with her bow as well as a set of throwing knives **.** When she was about to descend the stairs to the village's open gates, however, her self-confidence suffered a blow: she saw someone who she hadn't expected to see **.**

                      A cold breeze brushed Nyra’s cheeks and began to paint rosy circles on them. She stood still, staring at the warrior who loitered near the palisade lining the staircase’s right side **.** Fenris glanced at her, his green eyes glimmering like emeralds behind his white hair. He didn't avert his gaze, and they stared at each other until Nyra turned to look sadly at her left hand **.** Despite the glove she had covered it with, the mark began to dance on it like playful spirit. She grimaced, closed her hand into a fist, and began to descend the stairs with a stern expression on her face. The others were ready to follow her **,** but Varric delayed a little to glance at Fenris. The warrior didn't seem interested in joining them, however, and the group left. What Nyra thought right then, the others could only guess for she didn't let it show. She had a task in front of her, and she knew she couldn't fulfil if she gave in to grief.

 

If this was to be her Halam'shivanas **,** so be it.

 

**Elvish translations for this chapter:**

_panelan_ =warrior

_Halam'shivanas_ =The sweet sacrifice of duty


	7. By the light in the night

It had been a long day **.** Nyra had led her group around the Hinterlands, staying quiet and sombre the whole time. Despite the gloomy change in her character, she had shown determination to get things done. The group had already found Mother Giselle, cleared the Templar Encampment near the broken bridge, and contacted the local horsemaster. All the travelling and fighting had provided an excellent distraction for Nyra's wandering mind, but now that she sat by the campfire with the others, she had to use all her focus to keep herself grounded **.** Last time she had sat by a fire like this, she had had her love by her side. That thought made her wistful, and her heart felt cold. She had made it so, lest she’d sink into the depths of depression and despair again. Luckily, there was something to keep her distracted _—_ her friend and his captivating stories about the adventures of the Champion.

                      As the shade of the evening sky turned from purple to dark blue, the reflection of the flames began to dance on the surface of the nearby shallow pond. The farms were quiet for all the fields were empty, and most of the animals were already fast asleep. Cassandra had already retired to her tent an hour ago to rest before she’d take the second watch, but Solas and Varric stayed awake with Nyra. The younger elf had smiled for the first time since leaving Haven when the rogue had told the story about how the Witch of the Wilds, Flemeth, had cleverly gotten Hawke to smuggle her to the Sundermount. She had loved her clan's hahren's stories as a child, but Varric's stories were far more colourful than the ones he would ever have told. The stories of the Dalish were mostly about their gods and lost elven lore, and she didn't have even the tiniest intention of belittling their meaning. Those stories, however, made their listeners bitter and sad over time whereas Varric's stories were meant to _entertain_ people.

 

And as the dwarf began yet another story, Nyra let go of the present to sink into the world of astonishing adventures.

 

After an hour or so, the three travellers still sat outside their tents, finishing their meal which had been stewed in a pot for a good while **.** A soft rustling of grass reached their ears, but they didn't pay any more attention to it than they would have done to any other regular sounds of the night. Soon, however, the arrival of a lone figure drew their attention **.** Nyra's heart rose to her throat, and she couldn't believe her own eyes. Unlike her, Solas and Varric didn't seem very much surprised, and the latter smirked smugly.

”Couldn't keep away from her, could you?”

                      Fenris' white hair, as well as his tattoos, made him look like a ghost in the night when he stepped into the light of the campfire. The sight of him made insecurity crawl on Nyra’s skin, and she turned to look at a small stone by her feet. She felt her vhenan’s gaze on her before he sat down a few feet away from her. The camp was surrounded by silence for a moment, but Varric decided to break it.

“So, tell us”, he addressed the warrior. “Why are you here?”

The latter scowled instead of replying.

“You’ve followed her this far, Broody. Don’t ruin the moment by sulking.”

“Shut up, Varric”, Fenris growled **.** “This doesn’t concern you.”

“Doesn’t concern me?” the rogue exclaimed. “You bet your ass it does, you ungrateful…!”

“ _Varric_ ”, Nyra hissed and glared at her friend.

He glanced at her before he turned his gaze to the ground, swallowing his anger and dismay.

“Fine”, he murmured. “Be yourself, Broody. Hurt Cherry’s feelings. That’s what you do best, isn’t it?”

The warrior didn’t answer, but his growing irritation was clearly about to tip him off the edge. That was when Nyra had enough **.** She dropped her empty plate and spoon on the ground and stood up.

“Cherry?” Varric called her name, realising that he might have gone too far.

“I’m feeling tired”, she stated with a strained voice. “Good night.”

“Cherry, I’m sorry…”    

Nyra wasn’t willing to say or hear anything, and thus she turned to leave without a second thought. She didn’t even try to glance at Fenris before she marched to her tent and vanished from sight.

She was too tired to hear all the slander and bickering.

She was too tired to bear to see the expressions of hate and disgust on her vhenan’s face.

 

And yet…

 

With her hair brushed and braided, Nyra finally lowered her head against the rough, rolled blanket she kept as a pillow. When she had entered the tent, she had intended to bury herself below every cloth and blanket she could find. Now that she lay on her modest bed, however, her head was placed as near to the tent’s flap as possible. She heard nothing at first, but after a while, the conversation which she had disrupted continued again.

“Happy now?” the sound of Fenris’ deep voice made her cheeks burn, and her eyes were overrun with tears.

She had stayed strong because she knew she had to be **,** but now that no one was watching, she allowed her emotions to surface.

“Excuse me?” Varric sounded incredulous.

“Your words drove her away.”

“ _My_ words? _You_ ’re the one who left her alone! Your idiocy nearly _killed_ her!”

“The Conclave was…” Fenris began loudly, but Varric cut him off.

“I’m not talking about the Conclave!” the rogue snapped. “Cherry freaked out when you left after discovering her mark. If Chuckles hadn’t kept her heart beating, she’d be gone, dammit!”   

“Sudden stress and panic overwhelmed her”, Solas explained. “The physical reactions it caused were dire, but fortunately **,** she made it.”

“Were you the one who helped her?” Fenris inquired after a pondering silence.

His words made Nyra’s heart leap with hope.

_He… worries about me?_

“With Varric, yes”, Solas replied.

“I’m… thankful.”

 

The voices outside turned quiet. The glow of the flames weaved its way into Nyra’s tent **.** It caught a tear which ran over her nose and turned it golden. It sounded like everything wasn’t lost like she had thought. The consolation it brought was immense but also depressing at the same time. Maybe Fenris didn’t hate her, but she still carried something which he was disgusted by **.** Nyra brought her left hand in front of her and stared at the mark which sizzled on her palm until weariness conquered her mind.

 _If this thing disappeared, I’d have him by my side again,_ she thought before drifting off to sleep. _By my side, vhenan._

 

*******

“Yet another rift. Wonderful”, Varric sighed and readied Bianca for battle.

The group had left the camp early in the morning and headed to investigate the Forannan ravine. Instead of finding the crazed wolves they were after, they had found the rift which now spawned demons right in front of them. Nyra sought high ground to use her bow more effectively, and Varric did the same. Solas cast barriers around himself and others to provide extra protection, and Cassandra rushed towards the nearest terror which skulked just beneath the rift. The battle soon proved to be tougher than they had expected. Solas countered the despair demons’ icy spells with fire while Nyra and Varric took aim to try to bring it down. That, however, left the Seeker to battle the terror alone. It was stronger than the lesser ones they had encountered before, and her guard was failing.

Luckily, they were not alone.

                      A glowing spectral figure rushed through the battlefield. Nyra and Varric recognized the comer immediately. Despite appearing at the camp yesterday. Fenris hadn’t joined the others. He had probably still felt hesitant and liked it better to just follow them from a distance. It was unsure whether he had seen a rift before, but he didn’t hesitate to join the fray. Cassandra stood still in surprise when the other warrior cleaved the terror in two with his two-handed sword.

“More demons”, she warned him when she saw the ominous movement of the rift.

Without a word, Fenris charged at the nearest demon as soon as it appeared. Nyra nearly forgot to nock a new arrow when she saw him on the field. He was unyielding. He was fierce.

She should be like him.

That thought helped her to steel her heart against distractions and focus on the battle. Drawing her bow, Nyra released a deadly Long Shot towards one of the demons. The battle wasn’t over yet, however, and she drew another arrow from her quiver **.** The despair demon on the nearby cliff was the last, and it wasn’t able to withstand the combined power of the opposing force for long. With two precise shots and a spell of Immolation, the demon disappeared, and the rift broke into wild magic **.** Nyra reached her left hand towards it to use the mark. That was when she noticed that Fenris was watching her, his green eyes full of confusion and awe. When the rift exploded, she lowered her gaze to meet his.

 _This is what the mark does_ , she thought as if she was speaking to him. _Can you see it, ma lath? Can you accept that it is needed?_

“See that, Fenris?” Varric spoke on her behalf. “That’s what the mark does. Without it, the rifts can’t be closed. Cherry is the best hope this world has.” 

Strange as it was, the warrior didn’t react. He just stood there, staring at Nyra in silence.

There were many questions in the air, but the most important of them was the one the Herald kept repeating to herself.

 

Would her vhenan understand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fenris thanking a mage? ò.ó Desperate times call for drastic measures on his part too, it seems.


End file.
